Learning to Rely on Him: The Treasures of Faith in Difficult Seasons
By Kim Wuestefeld
“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, Who has called you His own eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you”.
1 Peter 5:10
While in a Bible study group this week, I alluded to a difficult season which led me to evaluate my faith. I had never publicly shared the details of the situation, but I’ve told God many times that if what I’ve experienced could ever help anyone else through a challenging season, I wanted Him to use me to tell of His grace.
About 4 or 5 years ago, I was at a point in my life where everything seemed like it was about as good as it could get. My marriage was wonderful, which was an answered prayer. My first marriage had ended in divorce. My husband and I finally found a farm to buy, we built a new house, and were enjoying life. My two daughters had moved into adulthood and were becoming independent. They seemed to be happy. Both had been in long term relationships with their boyfriends and looked close to settling down. Despite that, my heart just didn’t feel content. I couldn’t understand why. I had everything I’d ever dreamed of. I felt in my heart that it had something to do with my relationship with God, but I didn’t know what. I started praying for a closer relationship with the Lord, something real and intimate. I prayed for my heart to be filled with peace and joy not tied to circumstances. I prayed to really know God’s truth for myself - not what someone else told me.
Around that time, my oldest daughter and her boyfriend had been dating for about four years. We loved him like our own son. There had been a lot of talk about the future, marriage, and even grandbabies. Sure enough, they strolled in one day and announced their engagement. We were thrilled! A date was set, and we started planning. But one day, out of the blue, my daughter called me very upset and said she was breaking off the engagement. She wasn’t truly happy. We talked, and I supported her decision. I know the heartache of a failed marriage. The break-up was tough, but what came next shattered my world.
Shortly after the break-up, she told us that the real issue was that she struggled with same-sex attraction, and she was moving in with her girlfriend. A lot of things transpired. Counseling was discussed, and then pursued, but ultimately, she declared that it was her life. She believed that there was nothing wrong with what she was doing. The best word that I can use to describe how I felt that day is death, but worse. Life as I knew it ended very abruptly that day.
The fundamental truth I wanted to talk about today is learning. During that time, I clung to 2 Corinthians 1:8-9, which says, “We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves, and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead”. The Lord really used that verse in my life. He opened my eyes to how much I had relied on myself. My identity had really always been in my accomplishments as a good wife, good mother, good daughter, good friend, and good person. He opened my eyes to the sins of idolatry and pride in my life. But now, in this situation, I had nothing to rely on but God, which is exactly where I needed to be for him to answer those prayers I had been praying and fulfill the desire He put in my heart to be closer to Him.
Our first step in having the right relationship with God is believing His Word is absolute Truth, but we have to learn how to rely on Him for everything. I compare it to my career. I wanted to be a nurse. I believed I could be a nurse. Nonetheless, I had to work hard and study day in and day out to learn how to actually be one. It’s the same way with living the Christian life. If we truly want to be filled with the Spirit, we have to be students of God’s Word. Remember, we received the Spirit when we believed, and then we work out our faith to live a Spirit-filled life. Merely attending church on Sunday and doing a little bible reading is not enough. I love Joshua 1:8, which says, “Study this book of instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do”. Our situation hasn’t changed, but God has changed me. He has shown me the treasures found only in learning to walk closely with Him. If someone would have told me a few years ago I would have peace and joy in the midst of this situation, I absolutely would not have believed them.
But, God....
