Standing Watch
By Keaghlan Sheridan
I am counting on the Lord
yes, I am counting on him.
I have put my hope in his word.I long for the Lord
more than sentries long for the dawn,
yes, more than sentries long for the dawn.
O Israel, hope in the Lord;
for with the Lord there is unfailing love.
-Psalm 130:5-7
In these days I long for a lot of things. I long to be with my church body on Sunday mornings. I long to go out and have dinner with friends. I long to shop for groceries without feeling like Katniss Everdeen. I long for the days of abundant toilet paper. But, sigh … those days are not what I am experiencing. Instead, I worship from my couch via livestream. I go for socially appropriate walks 6 feet apart. I go into Kroger with no list and only the desire to find anything of substance. I reduce myself to three sheets of Charmin and the knowledge that drip-drying could be just around the corner. Reality vs. desire seems to be a greater chasm day by day.
I have taken to reading scripture right before bed in an effort to pour Truth into my parched soul. Curled up in bed, I open my Bible and pray that God will guide me to the scripture He would have for me that evening. I have mainly been residing in Psalms since there is plenty of “woe is me” to relate to. And yet, what I love is that David rarely dwells in the valley without casting his eyes to the heavens. He knows the cycle of pain, encouragement, growth, success, and pain again.
When I read his 130th Psalm, I was struck by his description of longing. “I long for the Lord more than sentries long for the dawn.” At first glance, the image that popped into my mind was a night guard who just wants his shift to be over. His eyes burn from staring at the security monitors and he may, or may not, have dozed off a couple times throughout the night. Daylight means sleep and rest and someone else’s responsibility. But the more I chewed on it, the more I saw the depth of this longing and what it takes to survive it.
A sentry is “a soldier who guards a place, usually by standing at its entrance.” Think of the beefeaters at Buckingham palace. Sure, sure, there is little chance someone will storm the palace after a 93-year-old queen, but the purpose is the same. The history nerd in me imagines the days of castles and epic battles. Where you would be besieged for weeks on end. The fortresses of old had one way in and one way out. These are the days when a sentry would risk his life to save the lives of those within the fortress walls.
A sentry longed for dawn with every fiber of his being because dawn meant safety. Light rid you of the threats in the darkness. No one wants to attack in broad daylight. These sentries, probably young men, would strain their eyes into the night constantly searching for a whisper of a threat. They stood in rain, wind, cold, snow, and heat. Their lives were offered up to save the lives of others. No wonder they longed for the dawn. But, how did they make it through the long nights? How did they push back the fear that assailed them? I want to imagine that they could tell roaring jokes or hilarious stories to pass the time, but I don’t think that relaxed attitude would have made them good sentries. They finished each night, crossing the mark, with perseverance. Romans 5:4-5 says, “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” The suffering of the sentry on a long winter’s night produced perseverance and character within him. I can only imagine as the hours droned on that you would remind yourself why you were doing what you were doing. Bolstering your character as you realized your sacrifice went beyond your own suffering. The hope that must have welled up within them as each minute ticked closer to dawn. The pinks and ambers that streaked the wakening sky surely drew out a sigh of relief and deepened their hope that they would see another day.
Like those sentries, we must persevere to see the dawn. And, as each night passes, we rejoice that another morning has come. Our hope swells and we convince ourselves, if only for a moment, that this too shall pass. Why is it that I so often only see the darkness around me? Why does it feel as if there is no amount of will or prayer that can push away the all-consuming night? Satan thrives off of this kind of darkness. Evil seeks out the crevices of the heart to hide within. What can I do or say or hear that will give me the strength to endure to the end?
The Light of Truth is the only thing that can penetrate such darkness. We must speak it, sing it, read it, hear it, and write it for ourselves and for other sentries just like us. Our job is to encourage and protect one another’s hearts as the Enemy seeks to destroy them with fear, anxiety, and isolation. Will we cry out Truth to one another? Will we truly long for the Truth of God? Will we strain our eyes to see the pinprick of light in the darkness we are currently experiencing? I want to be that sentry. I want to fight away the darkness even though my eyes burn from exhaustion and my stomach moans with hunger. I want to see this through to the end with hope engraved on my heart.
Let us be the sentries for one another and fight back the lies together. Let us long for the presence of the Lord more than they. Let us be the light shouting praise and glory to the One who sustains us and will carry us through to the end of this race, knowing that in our suffering we will persevere with character and arrive at the glorious hope.
